Forever Changed: The Story Speaks for Itself.

To contact us Click HERE
The following is an excerpt from the book I am currently working. I will be posting more sections to the blog as I go along. I am about halfway done. If I can help even one person through telling my story then it is well worth writing.On September 13th 2010 my life was forever changed. I was leading a bible study at my house. I asked my friend and neighbor if my oldest daughter could come over and play with his two little girls for the duration of the bible study. My husband was out of town and I knew that if she stayed at home she would be distracting for those of us in the study. About 9:00 PM I walked two doors down to my neighbors house with my friend/his wife (who was also in the study with me) to get my oldest daughter. As I climbed the steps the first thing I noticed was that all of the lights were off. "Why are all the lights off?" my friend/his wife asked as we climbed the steps. "I don't know," I replied. My heart was pounding before I got to the door. We walked into a pitch black house and didn't see anyone. I am starting to panic. "Where is my daughter? Where is my friend?" was all I could think to myself. As I looked around barely able to see I noticed two small pair's of feet at sticking out of the landing steps. I climbed the stairs praying that one of them belonged to my daughter. Neither one did. I started back down the steps and all I could think was "Where do I look now? In the basement? In the bedrooms upstairs?" As I got to the bottom of the steps I saw my friend and my daughter appear in the doorway between the family room and the entry way. They were holding hands, my daughter wouldn't make eye contact with me, and she was wearing a nightgown that she didn't wear over to their house. I leaned over and said, "What's wrong?" "Nothing." was her answer as she kept her eyes on the floor. "What's wrong?!" I asked again. "Nothing." was the answer, still no eye contact. My friend said "I was just trying to get her to go to sleep. I was just trying to get her to go to sleep. I was JUST trying to get her to go to sleep," he kept repeating. In my mind I kept thinking, "JUST? JUST? Why do you keep saying JUST? STOP SAYING THE WORD JUST!" I was terrified but was able to keep calm while I gathered up my daughters clothes. I wanted to get the hell out of that house. I took my daughter home and as soon as we got in the door I started asking her. "What happened? Did he touch you anywhere?" "No," was her answer over and over again. I finally asked her "Would you tell me if he had touched you somewhere?" She looked away from me and said "No." I told her that if he had touched her that she better tell me. To which she insisted that he hadn't touched her anywhere. At this point I decided to let her go on to bed and call my husband. We discussed the situation but were not able to come to any conclusions. The next morning as I was getting my daughter ready for school I casually asked her. "So, were you on the floor and he was on the couch?" "No, I was on the couch and he was in the chair," was her answer. I breathed a big sigh on relief. If they were physically separated then I was fine with that. But she continued to speak, "But then he said I should come and cuddle with him, and then we went over to cuddle together on the couch." I froze. I was stunned and I started in again with "Did he touch you anywhere are you sure he didn't touch you anywhere?" She said over and over that he didn't touch her anywhere but "Very lightly on the back and on the head." Once they got up and he lead her over to the couch he had her lay across his lap while her stroked her hair and patted her back. I was stunned, again. I calmly took her to school and again called my husband. I was numb and in shock, that afternoon I posted on fb, "I have never been so disappointed in my life." Within a few minutes I get an IM from him asking "What's up, why the disappointment?" Which I ignored. Then the phone rang, it was his wife asking what I was upset about. I said "I have to go pick up my daughter, I don't want to talk about it." While I was in the pickup line at school I get a text from him, "What are you so upset about?" I responded something to the effect of being heartbroken. Later that night he called and wanted to come over and talk to me to see what was wrong. I was on the other line with my husband when he called and he told me to go ahead and see what he had to say. The fact that he was so insistent to talk to me made me really suspicious. I was furious and when he came over to "talk" I laid into him demanding an answer as to what he thought he was doing being alone in the dark with my kid. The one thing I couldn't figure out was why he had sent his own children upstairs to get themselves ready for bed while he was alone with my daughter. Why was getting my daughter to fall asleep so important? It was only 9:00 when I came to pick her up so why would he be so insistent that she fall asleep before I came to get her? His explanation was "Well she told me that you guys cuddle with her every night before she falls asleep." Um, no, we send her to bed and tell her to go to sleep. When that wasn't working he said, "Well she went up to landing and saw my girls cuddled up together and wanted to go cuddle with them. I didn't want her to wake them up so I told her she could come cuddle with me." Eventually he left asking if "We were good?" before he walked out the door to which I replied, "I don't know." I asked my daughter about his explanations later. I asked if she had told him that she needs someone to cuddle with to fall asleep and that we cuddle with her before bed. "No, why would I tell him that? You guys never cuddle with me in bed." Then I asked if she had wanted to go cuddle with his girls on the landing. "I didn't know they were up there until you came to get me," was her response. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I didn't see that they were up there until he brought me out of the family room when you came to get me." So what is he guilty of? You are the judge. You doubt my side of the story? All you have to do is ask my daughter and she will tell you what happened to her. My sister-in-law who is a social worker said it was "grooming behavior." She thinks he was getting her used to being physically close to him and if it had been allowed to go on he would have molested her in the future. Draw your own conclusions. Whatever the case, guilty or not, he made my child scared and uncomfortable and that is all that matters. So what happened next?  Well, that is another story.